His Redemption Read online

  That’s when we’d gotten to the downtown area, and he parked in front of the bakery. Whatever he’d said since then—it all went out of my head after meeting Taylor.

  Which was dumb. I didn’t believe in love at first sight, although lust at first sight held possibilities. But there was something more with Taylor, something more than just lust. I could feel it. If I got involved with her, it would have to be more.

  Good thing I was leaving in a day or two. The part was going to be delivered tomorrow, and Freeze and Axel had already volunteered to help me get it fixed.

  We went to the hardware store to pick up fencing and then headed back to the ranch. I helped Jensen work on an expanded pen for the goats. After we were done, he leaned on a fence post and wiped his brow. “It’s not going to end with the goats,” he said sourly.

  “What?” I asked. I felt like I’d come in on the end of someone else’s conversation.

  “When I first came here, it was just horses and cows. Since then, there are more horses, then the turkeys—”

  “Hey, I have to admit the turkeys are pretty great,” I said, grinning.

  “They are, but now it’s the goats, and the chickens—Pris can’t say no. And as people realize it, this is going to end up being the biggest barn in the state.”

  I laughed. I’d seen Pris with the goats yesterday. She talked to them like they were babies. And for all her drill sergeant exterior with all the men on the ranch, that seemed to melt away with the animals.

  “There are worse things,” I said.

  He gave me a piercing look. “Yeah, there are. I’m just resigned to more pens.”

  We cleaned up and went to dinner, joking about the differences in our military experience. Jensen had been a SEAL. Axel was former Delta. Different names, same shit. Good and bad.

  At dinner, I met Carissa, Jensen’s fiancée, and her grandmother, Nora.

  “Call me Gran,” Nora said. “Everyone else does.”

  The Friday night dinner was a tradition, and it was noisy and warm. It had been a long time since I’d found this with family. With much older brothers, it had often been only me and my parents at dinner. And my family didn’t seem to do holidays like this. This dinner was almost too much, and I smiled, and kept quiet as I listened to the conversations around me.

  “So, I want to talk about something I been thinking on,” Freeze said.

  “Oh, no,” Carissa pushed hair out of her eyes. “I just got everything balanced. Have you been spending money that you haven’t told me about?”

  The entire table burst into laughter.

  “I don’t spend money secretly!” Freeze protested.

  A chorus of replies suggested otherwise. Freeze held up a hand, glaring at everyone around the table. “I haven’t spent a dime on this current idea, but I do want your opinion.”

  I remembered Freeze telling me that Axel and Pris owned the ranch now, but looking at them, they didn’t seem bothered at all by his taking the lead. And I felt a surge of envy so strong, so powerful, it nearly made me forget where I was.

  “We’re gettin’ busier as the bulls are getting older. We’re looking at expanding the herd,” Freeze nodded to Axel. “And Jensen’s a capable man, but it’s getting to be even too much for him.”

  “What are you trying to say?” Jensen asked indignantly.

  “I’m sayin’ we need more help. And help has fallen right into our laps. I like Raif, and I’d like to propose that you stay here, and work with us,” Freeze looked at me.

  I blinked. Whatever I’d been expecting to hear, this wasn’t it. Everyone looked to me. “I… I wasn’t expecting this… “I stuttered.

  “Of course you weren’t,” Pris said, glaring at Freeze.

  “You didn’t talk to him before?” Carissa asked.

  Freeze frowned. “No. I was deciding if he was a good fit.”

  I found my voice. “You think you can tell after only a couple of days?”

  “Sure,” Jensen said. “Can’t you?”

  I glanced over to see Axel give me a single nod. Hmm. Apparently I’d been on trial and hadn’t even noticed. “Well,” I said.

  “Look, son, I can tell you’re not jazzed about heading out to Idaho. It’s Idaho, which is understandable,” Freeze said. “And if you’re not jazzed, why not stop sooner?”

  “I’m not retired,” I said. “I don’t know that this is permanent. I’m just on medical leave.”

  “Well, we’ll take you for as long as you’re here, if you want,” Freeze said.

  I debated. My brother had made the offer out of compassion, but I wasn’t sure of any real need. If he needed help, though, that was where I needed to be. “Despite your unorthodox manner of offering jobs, I don’t think this would be a hardship,” I smiled at Freeze.

  “Wait until you have to get up at four a.m.,” Axel muttered.

  Jensen snickered.

  “I am flattered, and I’d like to say yes, but I need to make sure I’m not leaving my brother in the lurch,” I said.

  “Good. Then it’s settled. You call your brother tonight, and we’ll go from there.” Freeze nodded, like a satisfied warlord.

  As I looked around the table, and listened as the conversation returned to matters of the ranch, and gossip around town, I hoped like hell my brother was doing just fine.

  Chapter Six

  Taylor

  I finished out the day with a flush in my cheeks. I couldn’t stop thinking about that man, Raif. First, he was huge. I’d never seen a bigger man. Second, he was gorgeous. And finally, he gave off an air of quiet power, like a panther. Like, he knew he could be dangerous when he needed to, and he didn’t need to show off or boast about what kind of man he was.

  Okay, and his ass looked beyond great in jeans. There was that. But the whole idea of no more men for me was strong. As was the awareness that I’d recently left my boyfriend of three years three days ago, in a coma. IH had no business looking at anyone else. Not for a long time. I shook my head and focused on cleaning up the front. The bakery closed at three, and I wanted to be able to help Beezie and Link in the kitchen if they needed it.

  At three-thirty, when I’d finished cleaning up the front case and sweeping out behind the counter, Beezie came out of the back wiping her hands on her apron. “Holy hell, Taylor. You’re already done. We didn’t even talk about what to do.”

  I shrugged. “I’ve been waiting tables for years. It’s similar.”

  She smiled. “Well, thank you. You did even better than I hoped.” There was something in her voice that suggested she’d been worried.

  “Afraid I was going to be a burden?” I asked.

  Her cheeks went pink, but she met my eyes and nodded. “I wasn’t sure. We haven’t seen you back here in years, other than for a visit. You’re always wrapped up in your relationships, and they don’t seem to value family. I know you, but you’re not the same person you were six years ago, are you?”

  I opened my mouth to protest, to slap back at the slur on my boyfriends, and realized that she was right. Part of me hated having this conversation, and the other part of me was glad to get it out in the open. I sighed. “No, I’m not.”

  Beezie came over to me, her floury hand taking mine. “That doesn’t mean you’re not a good person. I think it’s noble, on one level, that you tried to help Kasper for so long.”

  “He didn’t want my help,” I said, looking down at my feet. Part of me wondered if his mother was right, if this was my fault.

  “No, he didn’t, and you were there, always, wanting to help. You’re not to blame, no matter what his harridan of a mother said.”

  I looked up and laughed. “Harridan?”

  She smiled, although her cheeks went even pinker. “That’s what Auntie Fran calls her.”

  Fran was one of my grandmother’s best friends, even though she wasn’t the same age as Granny. She’d moved into Paulson when she married her husband, a man who was Granny’s age. She and Granny had been friends ever si
nce. And she was part of the family—after her husband, Paul Martinsen, had passed away, she began to attend all our family functions. She and Paul didn’t have any kids, and she felt like an aunt, anyway.

  “Well, she’s right,” I said, thinking of Margaret. “She’s so angry. It’s scary.”

  “You’re away from that now. You up for helping this weekend?”

  “Here one day and already working,” I sighed dramatically. “I had hoped to lie around and mope, but since that’s not going to happen, I suppose.”

  Beezie laughed. “Thank God. We need the help. It’s going to be crazy over the weekend. But you’re off on Monday, so you can sleep in!”

  “Hey, don’t throw in the sweetener now,” I said. Laughing, I finished up the cleaning, and after making sure that Beezie and Link were good, drove home.

  Mom had Tatiana with her, and together, we played with her until Link came in, looking hot. “Thanks again for all your help, Taylor. We’re finally getting caught up on all the orders.” In addition to serving up all the baked goods needed for Paulson, the bakery had contracts to supply some of the local restaurants with rolls, cakes, and pies. Mandy leaving, and my mom needing to be there had put a crimp in things.

  “Happy to help,” I said.

  “You ready, munchkin?” Link said to Tatiana, who nodded and ran for him. He held out his arms, and she jumped at him, Link catching her easily. “Daddy,” the little girl said.

  “Hey, baby,” he kissed her head. “We’ll see you tomorrow. I’ll be by to drop her off,” Link said to Mom.

  Mom nodded as they left. “That girl is the bestest thing ever,” Mom said softly.

  “Standing right here,” I said.

  “Oh, Wait until you have grandkids of your own. There’s nothing like it.” She patted my shoulder. “Now let’s get dinner going.”

  As we prepped in the kitchen, my phone, sitting on the table, started to buzz. I had the ringer off, because honestly, who did I want to hear from in my old life? I’d emailed Davina, my former boss, and she’d replied, telling me to stay here and take care of myself. Anyone else was connected to Kasper somehow, and I wanted nothing to do with them.

  So I thought.

  The phone kept buzzing.

  “You want to check that?” Mom nodded at my phone.

  “Not really.”

  “Ignoring a thing doesn’t make it go away.” Her voice held a warning.

  I sighed. “No, but no sense in dumping a pile of shit on yourself until you have to.”

  Mom’s eyebrows went up, but she didn’t say anything. The phone kept buzzing, and finally, I muttered a curse word under my breath, and went to check it.

  It was all text messages, and they were all from Margaret. I sat down at the small table as I read them.

  You just left? You little whore.

  You need to get back here and take care of your responsibilities.

  How dare you?

  And the one that really got me was, What would your family say?

  I didn’t realize that Mom had come to look over my shoulder. “Is that from the wicked witch?”

  First harridan, and now wicked witch. “Yes,” I said, putting the phone down.

  “Let me see that,” Mom took my phone from me.

  I was too tired to argue. Just reading Margaret’s texts made me want to crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head.

  Then Mom whipped out her phone and typed into it. “There,” she said triumphantly.

  “There, what?” I asked.

  “I told that woman if she kept bothering you, your family, who threw a party when you left her addict son, would be calling the police.”

  “What?” I goggled at her.

  “That woman has done her best to grind you under her shoe since you met her. You’ve always been responsible for her stupid kid, and she has never, ever, in all the time you’ve wasted with him, given an inch. No blame to her son, who was the one pouring shit down his throat or stuffing it up his nose! No, it was all you! How could you let him do this?” She snorted angrily. “And she wonders what your family says? I’d like her to say that to my face!”

  Despite the thrill of fear that Margaret’s texts, and the anger I could feel via them, I laughed a little. “I should have sicced you on her long ago,” I said.

  “Yes, you should have. But I don’t invite myself into my kids’ lives.”

  I got up and hugged her. “Thanks, Mom.”

  “You’re welcome. I’m serious, Taylor. If she keeps texting you, you let me know. In fact, why don’t you block her right now?”

  I looked down at my phone. It seemed like such a final thing. What if Kasper —

  “You still talk with the brother, right?” Mom interrupted my thoughts.

  “What? Oh, Karl?”

  She nodded.

  “Yes, I do. I suppose he’d let me know if anything happened.” I worried at my bottom lip with my teeth. Why was this so damn hard?

  “Taylor.” Mom’s voice was soft. “Something is always going to happen. And in the end, one of two things will happen. Kasper will get clean, or he will die.”

  “Mom!”

  “It’s the truth, honey, and if you want to move on from this, you have to face it. He’s going to live or die, and it has not one damn thing to do with you. So block that horrible woman’s number and let yourself have a break. How many messages did she send you?” She snatched the phone from my hands. “Holy shit, this woman is just never ending,” she said, looking at the phone. Mom looked up. “Let’s block her.”

  “She has your number now.”

  “Let her try this shit with me,” Mom said. She held the phone out. “If you want to block her, do it, Taylor.”

  I took it back and slowly went through the steps to block Margaret. After I’d done it, I sat down again. When I looked up, Mom was smiling at me with a satisfied expression. “That’s the first step, honey. You have to stop allowing people to shit on you.”

  I nodded, unable to speak.

  “Listen, if something happens, you know she’ll be sure to scream to me about it. And I’ll let you know, all right?” Mom’s voice was softer, less strident.

  I nodded again. “I think I need to lie down for a few minutes. Would you mind?” I gestured at dinner, which wasn’t quite yet done.

  “Go on,” Mom said. She gave me a one-armed hug as I got up and then went back to the stove.

  Closing the door to my room, I sank to my bed. Why was this so hard? Margaret had never been anything other than awful to me. When Kasper and I first started dating, she was snide. Rude. Dismissive. And then as his problems began to emerge, she got mean. She blamed me.

  So why was I so worried? Because I knew, deep down, that she’d keep me informed. How would I ever get away if I knew every little thing that happened? That was the point, wasn’t it? She wanted to keep me there, tied to Kasper. To all of them. Because if I was the one responsible, she didn’t have to be.

  It felt like I was seeing behind the curtain in the Wizard of Oz movie. She’d put all her energy into keeping me around so she didn’t have to deal with Kasper.

  “That bitch,” I said out loud. “That hateful bitch.” It felt good. I got up. I was done with Kasper and his family making me feel like shit. Even though I knew myself, and knew that I’d have a hard time keeping up good boundaries—hell, any boundaries at all—I wasn’t responsible for him.

  Not ever again. That felt good, too. “Not ever again,” I tried saying it out loud. “Not ever again.”

  Jesus. I’d been here one day, and I’d had more personal strength than I had in the past three years. Another thought hit me. Was that why Kasper wanted nothing to do with my family? Maybe I wasn’t weak, or always fucking things up? Maybe it was because when I was with them, I remembered who I was?

  The thought was staggering. I closed my eyes, feeling tired of trying to sort through it. I woke up when my mom shook me and told me to come and eat. When I went back out to the kitch
en, she’d finished the meal, and we ate, quietly talking about the bakery, and Tatiana, and Mandy, and anything outside of the giant cluster of a life I’d left in Cheyenne. I was grateful. I didn’t want to talk about it anymore.

  I didn’t tell my mom about meeting Raif the huge beautiful man in the bakery, either. I wanted to keep him and all the thoughts he inspired to myself.

  After dinner, I did the dishes, and went to bed early. And the weekend went exactly as Beezie said—busy as hell. People loved all of her food, and while there was plenty to clean, there weren’t many leftovers. On Sunday afternoon, Link handed me a pie. “Here, this is for you all. We’ll be by later to grab Tatiana.”

  I inhaled deeply. “Strawberry rhubarb?”

  He nodded. “Just for you, Taylor.”

  “Thank you,” I said. It was my favorite, and evoked memories of Granny, who kept rhubarb in her kitchen garden. She and I had been the only ones who liked this pie, and we’d sit in the kitchen and eat it together with her whipped cream.

  I headed home, singing a little to myself. When I got in, Mom was on the phone. Tatiana was napping. She waved at me. I put the pie in the fridge. Mom held up a finger.

  “Yes,” she was saying. “That won’t be a problem. You couldn’t have picked a better day, Fran.”

  I waited until she got off the phone. “How’s Auntie Fran?”

  “She’s good, but she needs your help. And I’m sorry, it’s one of your days off.”

  The bakery was closed on Monday and Tuesday. Beezie had trained people to order what they wanted during the weekend if there was something they couldn’t live without. “Oh, I get days off?”

  “Hush. Auntie Fran has her cleaning service, remember?”

  “She still does that?”

  Mom nodded. “She does. She doesn’t have a ton of clients, and those she has, I think she keeps because she can’t stand the idea of retirement. Anyway, she needs some help, and she knew you were back, so she called. I hope you don’t mind,” she said, looking guilty.

  “It’s not like I have packed social schedule, Mom. That’s fine. I don’t mind helping Fran.”