His Heart Read online

  I’d moved in with Stephen a year ago. He rented a little house that must have been a mother-in-law cottage behind a larger, more stately home. There was plenty of room for me, and I’d been thrilled when he asked me if I wanted to move in.

  Talk to Mel? Why would our landlord have anything to do with this? I checked my watch. It was just after seven, so it wouldn’t be rude to go and knock on his door right now. But damned if I was going to do this in work clothes. I changed into leggings and comfortable shoes and headed up to the big house.

  Mel answered right after I knocked. Was he waiting for me? What had Stephen left me to deal with? The pit of fear in my stomach grew. Please don’t throw up right now, please don’t throw up right now, I begged my body.

  “Hi, Mel. I’m sorry to bother you so late—”

  He cut me off and stood to the side, inviting me in. “I’m glad you came over, Carissa. Come on in.” He closed the door behind me and led the way to a room that was a study and library. God, I loved these old houses.

  Mel took a seat behind the desk and gestured at the chair in front of it. “Have a seat, honey,” he said.

  “All Stephen said was that you’d explain, and he had to leave. What’s going on?”

  Mel sighed. “I haven’t said anything to you because you’re not the tenant. Stephen is. He asked me to let him sort things out without talking to you, and I agreed. He’s been a good tenant for three years. This is the first time I’ve had any concerns.”

  “What are you trying to tell me, Mel? Just spit it out.” I hated this dancing around. I could tell that Mel really hated being the bearer of bad news.

  And how bad was it that my boyfriend had left and put the landlord in charge of sorting whatever this was out?

  He sighed again. “Earlier today, a couple of guys came looking for Stephen. They knocked on my door, and I told them he wasn’t here. I think they might have gone around back—but they were quick about it. Well,” he sighed. “These guys—well, they were the kind of guys I wouldn’t want to look for me. They said they had some business with him, and I asked if this looked like an office.” He scratched at his head, shaking it at the same time.

  “They didn’t have much appreciation for my sense of humor and told me to tell Stephen that Mr. Black and Mr. White were looking for him. I waited until they were gone and went out back. Stephen wasn’t home. When he came home, I went back to let him know what happened. I’ll tell you, he didn’t look so good. Nervous, sweaty, that clammy kind of look, you know?” He looked to me.

  I nodded, wanting him to get to the point.

  “When I mentioned their names, Stephen went even more pale, and he looked scared. Real scared. He told me that I needed to tell you what happened if you came looking for me before he got back.”

  “Why would he want you to do this?” I asked.

  Mel looked at the wall behind me. “He wanted me to tell you that these men had come looking for him, and because they’d been here, he had to go and take care of it. He said things might take longer than he wanted. Then he raced out of here. I haven’t seen him since. It all went down right after lunch today.”

  “What did those two men want?” I asked.

  Mel looked at me sadly. “My guess? He owes them money, Carissa. I’d say quite a lot.”

  “No, how can that be?” I asked. “Why would he owe anyone money? He has money in the bank, and we’re saving for a house!” I could feel my heart beat faster as the possibilities of what had happened began to dawn on me.

  “I don’t think so.” Mel shook his head again. “I can only speak to what I know. I don’t know what those guys wanted for sure, but in regard to me, Stephen hasn’t paid the rent in four months.”

  “What?” I exploded. “I’ve been giving him half the rent since I moved in!”

  “He’s four months behind,” Mel said.

  “He left,” I said, shocked. “He left me a note and told me he was leaving. He didn’t say where he was going. He didn’t take me with him. He left me, and left the bills unpaid,” I finished, my voice sounding small.

  I hated sounding small. I hated that Stephen had put me in this situation. I hated that I was sitting here, trying to get my head around all these facts. Stephen was gone. Stephen was a liar, Stephen hadn’t paid the rent, Stephen was scared of guys named Mr. Black and Mr. White.

  Mel leaned forward on the desk. “Listen, I like you. You’re a nice girl. You were good for him. But whatever is going on, he’s in the hole and I’d bet those guys are the kind of people who break body parts to get the money back. And like I said, he was the only one on the lease.”

  I felt like Mel was trying to say something. Then it hit me. “Oh, shit,” I exclaimed. “Mel, you haven’t been paid in months! Oh my god! I’m so sorry! I’ll—well, it will take me a day or two to get the money, but—”

  “I’m really sorry, Carissa. But you need to move out.”

  “What?” I whispered.

  “I don’t know for sure who they are but I’m going with guys who don’t operate on the legal side of things, you know what I mean? If I had to guess, he’s lost money, either through gambling, or a loan shark, or something like that.”

  “What does that have to do with me leaving?” I asked. I felt like I couldn’t move.

  “Honey, if you didn’t know about this, and I don’t think you did, you need to get the hell out of here. You need to disappear like you never lived here, so when they come back, and they will—I can say I haven’t seen him, and there’s no one else there.”

  I shook my head, trying to wrap my mind around this.

  “Listen, Carissa, if you were my kid, this is what I’d tell you to do. You’re a nice girl, and you’ve given me no issues.” He shook his head. “I feel terrible, but I know danger when I see it, and those guys were dangerous. Get your stuff packed and get the hell out of here. You can leave whatever is Stephen’s. You’re not responsible for that.”

  “Where am I going to go?” I said, trying to think straight.

  “Do you have some family around here?” he asked.

  “No, but…” I stood up. “That’s not your problem, Mel. Stephen has already dragged you into his problems in an unforgivable manner. I am very sorry. I can pay you, but it will take me some time.”

  Mel stood up. “No, you don’t need to. What I would like is for you to show me how you paid Stephen, so when I take his ass to court and he tries to blame you, I can show the judge you paid for your half, even though you weren’t on the lease. It’s the least I can do.” He held up a hand, seeing me start to object. “I already feel like a complete heel, Carissa, so let me help you where I can.”

  “I’ll get that information for you,” I said as I walked out the office door and toward the front door. I knew my body was moving, but it seemed really disconnected to me now.

  Stephen had left me. Because he owed some scary men money, and he left me to deal with it. How could he do that to me? To someone he said he loved?

  My entire world felt like the bottom had dropped out.

  When I got back to the cottage, I laid on the bed and cried. Then I screamed at the empty house, and then I went looking for boxes. There were only two days to get this done and figure out what I was going to do next.

  By Saturday night, I had most of my stuff packed. I’d gone and rented a trailer so I could take a couple of pieces of furniture with me. I took everything that was mine, making sure to go through everything so that I didn’t miss anything. I had to keep busy. Otherwise, my heart was going to break into a thousand pieces.

  I’d called my boss, Ted, and told him that my boyfriend had spaced out, left me in a bad way, and I’d need a month off to get my shit together. He had a mini fit on the phone, because he was a workaholic, and we had things going on, but he knew as well as I did that I had hours and hours of vacation time.

  Then he asked me what I needed and told me to kick Stephen in the balls.

  There was a reason I loved working f
or Ted. He was demanding, but he gave as good as he expected from others, and he cared about the people who worked for him.

  As I hung up from talking with Ted, all my nervousness returned. What if those guys came back? I wanted to be far away. The only problem was that I had no idea where I was going to go. None of my friends had any room for me. I was nearly homeless, apparently dumped, and felt like I had to run and hide from scary men.

  So much for a relaxing weekend. What was I going to do? My parents were divorced, and they both seemed to forget they had a daughter. I knew that calling them was just a waste of time.

  Gran. I’d call her, and… what the hell was I thinking? Gran lived in Paulson, Montana. The middle of nowhere. Although I’d loved going there when I was a kid, and when my parents were still together.

  She answered on the first ring. “What’s wrong?”

  “What are you talking about, Gran?” I asked.

  “It’s late. You usually call me from the car on the way home, when it’s still light outside. So, what’s wrong?”

  I explained the whole sad tale to her.

  “Well this certainly is the pits for you, Clarissa, but it’s perfect timing for me.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I need some help. I’m getting rid of the house—”

  “Gran, you didn’t tell me that!” I felt ashamed that she had to tell me like this. I talked to her every couple of weeks, and she hadn’t mentioned it.

  “Well, I’ve been thinking about it for the past year. I’m tired of the cleaning and taking care of it. I want a little apartment where I don’t have to do as much.”

  “Gran, that’s been in the family for years!” Her house was a small one, built in the 1920s, and her father had given it to her and my grandfather.

  “I know, but Royce doesn’t want it. You have a life down there in San Diego, so what am I going to do with it?” Gran sounded practical.

  “What do you need help with?” I asked. I left the subject of Royce, who was my dad, alone. No need to get into that now.

  “I want to clean it out. Get rid of all the junk. I planned to hire someone, but if you need somewhere to land for a bit, then come up and help me. I’ll pay,” she said.

  “Gran, you don’t have to.”

  “Nonsense,” Gran retorted. “You’ll have to take time off, won’t you?”

  “I’d already taken a month off. I figured I’d need it to get things in order and leave town for a while.” Mel’s words of warning rang in my ears.

  “Well, get things moving, and then get in the car and come up here. And Carissa?”

  “Yes?”

  “If that Stephen comes back, crying and wailing, you kick him where it will be most instructive, and slam the door in his face.”

  I laughed for the first time since I’d read Stephen’s note. Gran was small but mighty in all the ways that counted. “Yes, ma’am!”

  “Love you, honey,” she said. “Get things done and then call me when you’re ready to go.”

  For the first time since I’d seen the note on the kitchen counter, the awful pit in my stomach went away. I had a plan, I had someone who would help me, which meant I wasn’t completely alone, and I was going to be all right.

  After a while, anyway.

  Chapter Three

  Jensen

  Six months later, I was in my Jeep with the top off, heading west, a newly single man. “Go west, young man,” I said out loud.

  Turns out, Pammy had another reason to not want to be married to me any longer, besides my employment status. That reason had two names, and they belonged to a guy who was in the Marines special forces. She wouldn’t have told me except I caught her on a date with him. Up until that point, she’d been difficult, acting as though me getting hurt was really cramping things for her. But after I told her that I wasn’t the one who asked her for a divorce, and that I could hold things up while we delved into the whole cheating aspect, and share with the judge in detail the fact that she canned me when she found out I was hurt, her thought process on the matter changed. None of these things would show her in a sympathetic light.

  So, she agreed to stop fighting, and sign off on an uncontested divorce. That meant we would be able to move through the process quickly. Now, as I drove away from the only life I’d ever known, I did it as a single man. Well, I’d been single for some time—Pammy had moved in with Marine Special Forces after she walked out our door. It was just a matter of paperwork, as far as I was concerned.

  However, dealing with my arm and the rehab issues, and the stress brought on by the divorce—I was supposed to be home to ease up on my stress, taking the time to heal as much as I could, for fuck’s sake, which hadn’t happened—I’d had a tough time the last couple of months. I didn’t want to be with anyone who didn’t want to be with me, but it hurt like hell to get dumped when I was at the lowest point in my life.

  We’d agreed to sell the house. Until two weeks ago, I hadn’t known what the hell I was going to do with myself. I’d gotten an honorable discharge from the Navy, and Creed, my former CO who was back stateside, convinced me to apply for disability benefits. I’d done it, begrudgingly, and now, I was glad he’d pushed me.

  Despite my less than polite parting from Creed when my health drama had come to light, he was a good guy. At the same time he made me get my paperwork shit in order, he told me he’d heard from an old friend who had an interesting offer.

  His dad was war buddies with a guy named Freeze. Freeze had a ranch out in Montana, and he was looking for help. But he only wanted vets who’d sustained some sort of injury. And he wanted recommendations from friends. Creed’s dad had passed the information along, and Creed thought of me immediately.

  Again, I wasn’t grateful at the time, but now, heading toward Montana with the sun shining down on me, and no obligations or responsibilities left from my old life, outside of the bitterness I still felt at being tossed out of my career, my marriage, and my home all in the same month, I was glad Creed had pushed me.

  Freeze Buckley sounded like a hoot. He ran a place called Broken Falls Ranch that had a river running right through it. He and his grandson were raising bulls for the rodeo circuit, and when I’d emailed Freeze, he told me that they were at the point where it was time to take on another hand.

  I was in the right place at the right time. I took his offer, and now I was free to move on.

  The problem was, I was still broken. The arm was still a problem. The docs on the ship had caught it early enough, but I wasn’t out of the woods. I’d just turned thirty, and I felt like an old man.

  Thirty years old, and I was washed up, broken down, and busted out. I should be grateful I had somewhere to go. Maybe the best thing about Broken Falls Ranch was that the only woman on the ranch was married to Freeze’s grandson, according to all the intel Freeze had given me.

  The divorce, like my injuries, had done a number on me. I’d never seen it coming with Pammy. She’d seemed happy, even though she complained at times I traveled too much. But she hadn’t seemed miserable, and I talked to her about how she was feeling, how things were going for her. I cared for her, loved her.

  And she’d thrown me away without a backward glance. Oh, and some harsh language.

  I was a failure. My body was trying to fail me, and already had, and I was a shit husband. Not that Pammy had shown herself to be an upstanding citizen, but I wondered why she was so angry at me that she’d cheat. What had happened?

  Well, at least at the ranch, it would be me and a lot of cows. Fewer chances for me to fuck things up. For anybody.

  When I arrived at the ranch two days later, Freeze came out of the house right as I turned off the engine.

  “You must be Jensen!” He shook my hand. “Damn glad to have you here. We’re getting in a little over our heads with just the three of us.”

  “Thanks for having me, sir,” I said.

  “None of that. You’re a civilian now,” Freeze said. “Come on out
to the barn and meet the kids.”

  The kids turned out to be his grandson and his grandson’s wife. Freeze had told me about them via our email conversations.

  “Jensen?” Axel Buckley shook my hand. “Good to meet you. You were SEALs?”

  I nodded.

  “Delta,” he said, referring to Delta Force, one of the Army’s special forces units as he gave me a rueful smile. “Stepped on an IED. Got a new knee out of it, but I’m still carrying some of it with me. Always will.” His hand went down to his leg, although I didn’t think he was aware of it.

  “I didn’t have anything that exciting,” I said, grinning. This was a guy who got it. “Back that goes out of whack, and a nerve injury when someone didn’t hold up their end of something. I’m supposed to take it easy,” I said.

  “You came here to relax?” Pris, his wife, laughed a little. “The two of them,” she indicated Axel and Freeze, “aren’t going to help you a bit.”

  “Oh, and what? You’re a silent victim?” Freeze shot back at her.

  I could tell right away that they loved one another, and this was part of a family ritual for them.

  “It doesn’t matter how noisy I am, I am still a victim,” Pris said.

  Axel laughed. “Granddad, haven’t you learned? She always wins.”

  Pris crossed her arms and nodded smugly. “I do. Why you can’t figure that out, old man,” she said, giving Freeze a mock glare, “is beyond me.”

  “I don’t let myself get dragged down by the likes of you,” he retorted.

  “And she complains about us?” Axel said to me in an undertone. “I’m the mild mannered one of the bunch.”

  At that, Pris and Freeze stopped arguing, and looked at Axel. Together, they burst into laughter.

  “Come on, old man,” Pris said to Freeze. “Let’s go get dinner going, and Axel can show Jensen around.”

  They walked out together, still bickering in a friendly fashion. Axel shook his head. “Don’t let them get you concerned. This place is a well-oiled machine, except when it’s not. We have more cattle than the three of us can manage. Do you ride?”